this pain i have
inside of me
the one
that you made
you csued this pain
you never realized
ho wmuch pain
i am in
or how much you hurt me
where not as close
anymore
maybe not firends
any longer
remember all those stupit fights
we had back then
yes those fights
they casue me to lsoe you as a mate
but hey who cares coz you didnt even care
you didnt notice how much you hurt me
or the marks i had
you never asked me if i was ok
i tried to fix things up
but you didnt seem that interested
so i gave up
just like you gave up on me
dont you see
that
that you hurt me
you dont even care
how times do i have to say it
you hurt me
so much that im so down now
all messed up
but hey you didnt notice
you though that we wore still mates
even though i stopped talking to you.
i guess you though that i was ok
that i was fine
but i wasnt
i was not ok
i was suffering inside
you hurt me
thats why im suffering inside
deep inside.
it cant be fixed it just to much
to much pain inside of me.

i hate her so much
she dosent even realzie how much
she has pulled me down n hurt me
i **** hate her
i feel as tho ive lost
as a mate
i dont trust her anymore
coz of all the fights we had
its baseily torn our friendship apart
and she dosent even realize how much it **** hurts

You Hurt Me
you hurt me so much
you didnt even notice
you though that everything was fine
but it wasnt
you broken the trust i had for you
now im all alone
in this messed up world
with no where to go
you have damaged me
in so many ways
i though that you wore there for me
but i guess i was wrong
we started fighting over stupit things
you hated me
for what i said
but i say sorry
and you dont even care
that i feel as tho ive lost you forever
that our firnedship has been torn
into a million bits
you dont even notice it
you never realized it.
how much you hurt me
i though we wore mates
but i guess were not anymore.
its over now.

i hate her so much
she dosent even realzie how much
she has pulled me down n hurt me
i *** hate her
i feel as tho ive lost
as a mate
i dont trust her anymore
coz of all the fights we had
its baseily torn our friendship apart
and she dosent even realize how much it *** hurts

Blue Flowers, detail by =Vannic-One on deviantART

Without a sound I took her down
and dressed in red and blue I squeezed
Imaginary wedding gown
That you can't wear in front of me
A kiss goodbye, your twisted shell
As rice grains and roses fall at your feet
Lets say goodbye, the hundreth time
And then tomorrow we'll do it again

I dragged her down I put her out
And back there I left her where no one could see
And lifeless cold into this well
I stared as this moment was held for me
A kiss goodbye, your twisted shell
As rice grains and roses fall at your feet
Lets say goodbye, the hundreth time
And then tomorrow we'll do it again

I never thought it'd be this way
Just me and you, we're here alone
And if you stay, all I'm asking for is
A thousand bodies piled up
I never thought would be enough
To show you just what I've been thinking

And I'll keep on making more
Just to prove that I adore
Every inch of sanity
All I'm asking for is, all I'm asking for is

These hands stained red

From the times that I've killed you and then
We can wash down this engagement ring
With poison and kerosene
We'll laugh as we die
And we'll celebrate the end of things
With cheap champagne

Without, without a sound
And I wish you away

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say
I never want to let you down or have you go
It's better off this way
For all the dirty looks
For photographs your boyfriend took
Remember when you broke your foot
From jumping out the second floor

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again
You sing the words but still don't know what they mean
To be a joke and look
Another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time
Take a good hard look

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book
But the pages are all torn and frayed

I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay
(Trust me)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)

school ahs always been hard for me ive always foud it hard to cope with and to make friends with that will last not just becasue im shy n quiet but because i got hassled in p.s n just end up hating my bestfriend moved away n i dont c her all that much then in yr 7 i went 2 a diff skool 2 the rest of ma group n hated it didnt reali fit in with the people theredidnt reali have a group i wuz kinda in between group i onyl reali had one friend there that i actcal knew everyone else i want reali friends with i end up movin at da end of da yr coz i just hated it so much i though that my new skool at frist wuz gonna b diff n it was a made friends but i made friends with this one person n that wuznt sucha good idea we wore friends til bout half way though the yr and then she just turned on me n hated me for same stupit reason n she keep sayin all this crap then she left at the end of d ayr so that wuz but ive seen her a few senic on the way 2 skoolor comin home but i just walk pass n dont look at her my group at skool ahs changed so much over the years lots of people have left and now even more changes are happenin coz im problery gonna leave as well but i have a feelin that 2 of mates r gonna kill me 4 doin it coz our group would just b dead and yer lots thingz have happened i made a new friend at the start of last yr n then at the toward the end of the yr i sweared things up n now where not reali friends thre only time ive seen her s a few times wen she come up 2 skool n i saw her at work one day but thats about ti reali i dont reali do stuff with ma group or get invieted much n wen i craap goin on they ask me watz goin on n ill say its a long story ill tell u later but i never end up tellin them watz goin on n yer i hardly see anyone form ma old school i might see some comin home from skool on bus or train but thats about iut really. i dont usely do things with my group ive never really done things with them you get used to them doin things with out you. i dont get txt messages or phone calls from anyone apart from close friends thats bout it really. i get huret easily by stupit little things n when i get hurt im usely down witch isnt all that good but thats the way i am now the things that have happened to me in the past have affected me the way i am now ive learnt the hard way of dealing with things on my own i just cant deal with things when i say im not copeing with sometihn i mean it i cant keep things inside of me but i also find it even harder to talk bout whats going on as well but those around me dont really see that side of me, i have been told that is hould see a counselor but i find it hard to talk to people about whats going on inside yet alone talk to somewho hardly knows me or what ive been though in the past yet alone my life. most of the time when im down i feel really alone n have no where to go " no matter where youa re you are never alone" as ive been told but that dosent help me i still feel the same way id before oi told you. i just dont get it why me why do i have to go though all of this and you dont no-one knows really what its like to be left out or to feel rejected by thosed around you the only people who will prob understand me are those who have been down this track before and know what im talking bout and can actcal help me though all of this i still find it hard to sleep at night i lay in bed awake for hours just tryin to find a way out of all of this but i dont usely find one its hard to go though all of this and not know where all of this is heading what direction you end take it wat road you will take or where you will end up or how long it will take you to overcome all fo this. over the last few days i have felt so laone and nothing seems to cheer me up. plz help me im so sick of my life right now. i hate it.

well yer the last few days ive been feeling reali alone and down as well i was doin reali well i was startin to move on from everythin but i guess i was wrong yer i went away after comin back from central that wasnt such a good idea reali i got down to the beach n had no one to bum wif coz everyone is mates wif ma sis more than they r wif me n most of da older ppl ive had a fallin out wif n im not friends with then anymore so i felt really alone.

Pain is everywhere
Everyone is suffering
Everyday
She is being killed inside
Broken inside
Hearts are being smashed
Smash inside
Deep inside
Pain is leaking out of their heart
We just don’t seem to see it
In those around us
They seem to be ok
But deep down in side
There crying out for help
The call that we don’t seem to notice
Until it’s to late
To late to do anything
Anything that will change what there about to do
To take away the pain
The pain inside of them
Deep inside
We don’t c it
They don’t tell us bout it
About what’s going on
Going on inside of them
They cry but they won’t tell us y
There write things down that r full of pain
Pain from the heart
U tries to help them but they say that they don’t need your help
U stops helping them
Just to make them happy
But it’s all too late
They did what they wanted to do
We can’t change it
Coz it’s already happened

I don’t have the guts to tell you
How you what’s going on
I’m just si scared
Of how you re going to react
If you’ll hate me or not after
Imp just to scared to speak
I cry because I have no idea what to do anymore
It hurts so much inside and I’m just so scared
I have no idea where everything is heading

as i sit here all alone fellin nothin but cold and
pain running though my body
i feel so sad i dont no y
i'm sitting in the dark
with no-one around
all alone.

no-one seem to care
no-one seems to notic
what gose on behind the hazsel eyes.

until its to late
to late to do anythin
to late to say sorry.

its all to late

i hate it
i hate being alone
it such a stupit feeling
i had no one around me when i need it most
i didnt think of calling anyone about it
i need to
im to afraid to be who i am anymore
i cant move on from it
it hurts inside

i cut myself last night
you told me not to
but i couldnt help it
i had no where to go
no-one was understanding me
i couldnt reach my friend who understood me
she didnt pick up
there is blood everywhere now
i feel so alone
alone in this world
no where to go
i hate the person that i have become
i tell you what i did
you start yelling at me
for doing it
i feel even more depressed
i cut myslef again and again
you hate me now
but i couldnt stop
i had no where to go
i felt like no one could hear me
but i was so wrong

These days I have
Where no one seems to be listening
I just want to cry
Cry out for help
But I’m holding back the tears
Trying to be strong
But it just doesn’t seem to woke
I’m all-alone
The pain inside is too much
I cry
Cry out for help
But no one hears my cry
The cut is deep
There us blood everywhere
I look at it
And cry
Everything is just mess
No one understands me
Only two of ma mates do
They’re slowly helping me
But when I try to explain to someone else
It doesn’t seem to work
It just end up confusing them even more
I’ve given up on explain it
I just never work
I’ve given up on trying
It just never works
It just doesn’t

No one seems to know what I'm going though..
They all say they do but they don't
..I'm not the same anymore
..I've changed inside
..But u don't seem to notice
..Until I tell u I feel pointless
..U ask y I tell u
..But it doesn't help
..I lose u in what I telling u
..U say u no how I feel but u don't
Have a clue ..what it's like u try n help me though this but it doesn't help..
I push u away
..I keep on doing this until it's too late
..I need help someone to talk to
..But u say that urn to busy or u don't want to talk to me
..You don't believe me anymore
..I feel the pain inside of me grap me tight
..I feel rejected so I am no longer your friend
..I have no one now
..No one in my life
..I pushed then away
..I pushed then away bcoz they tried to help me but I didn't see it
..I didn't need help
..But now I do ..
I need u ..but u don't see it ..
Until its to late ..
You read the note I left you behind ..
You realized how much I need you
..How much I loved you
..But you can't do anything ..its to late ..
I'm gone forever ..
In heaven watching you live your life..
The life that I could of had
..If only if I listened to you ..on that day
..Instead of pushing you away like I did
..I'm so sorry
For what I did to you on that day
..Or other day that
I hurt you..
I'm so sorry
That it had to end like this ..but it did
..I couldn't handle it anymore..
No one seemed to understand me
Anymore until they read the note I left
..I'm so sorry it had to end this way..
But u didn't seem to understand me
..Anymore it hurt so much inside
Becouse..i had no one around me
..You said that you would always love me
..Forever and always
..But you broke my heart ..
Into a million bits ..
My life went spiraling down ..
And out of control ..
All I ever wanted was for this all
..To go away to runway from it all
..To leave it all behind
..So I did what I had to do
..I left all behind all those answered questions ..that you now have ..but I can't answer them
Because i'm gone ..forever
Into the heaven above..
Yes! I took it into my own hands
..I know that it wasn't the easy way out of it
..But to me there was nothing out there for me
..No-one was understood me
..No-one seem to care
..I was just lost inside ..
Crying out for help..
I told you that I wasn't copping
..I told you that I was emo
..I told you that I was depressed
..But you didn't seem to care ..deep
Inside my heart broke in half ..again and again
..I couldn't take it anymore
..I had to go ..leave it all behind
..So now I am gone forever
..I took my life into my own hands
..There is nothing you could have done to change my mind
Now it's just to late

Nobody Knows --> Pink

Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows no

Nobody likes
Nobody likes to lose their inner voice
The one I used to hear before my life
Made a choice
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows
No

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
I think nobody knows no
I said nobody knows
Nobody cares

It's win or lose not how you play the game
And the road to darkness has a way
Of always knowing my name
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows no no no no

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
And oh no no no no
Nobody knows
No no no no no no

Tomorrow I'll be there my friend
I'll wake up and start all over again
When everybody else is gone
No no no

Nobody knows
Nobody knows the rhythm of my heart
The way I do when I'm lying in the dark
And the world is asleep
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
me

Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows no

well i only JUST made it though 2dai lunch wuz so boring more pointless than anyhtin reali my group noticed that there wuz samethin up [ witch there is ] wif me towards the end of well lets amke that the last 10 mins of it so i couldnt reali tell them wat wuz up coz i new there would b a million questions after it so yer sorry guyz if ur reading this umm yer just ask me on msn or 2moz if u still have no idea wat im talkin bout or if u have 4gotton wat is goin on mmmm i should reali tell everyone else i almost did 2dai but i was tryin 2 hold back the tears isntead n i wasnt reali sure how i wuz gonna say it ethier im sorry i no i should of ive told u guyz but i was sooooo scared. n liz if ur readin this n have no idea wat the hell im on bout itz bout wat i told u the other nite on msn n yer that y i was depressed 2dai at lunch n hyer im sorry im not reali sure how im gonna tel everyone else bout it but i will get there. im sorry if i afenened u or anyone else i just wasnt ready so yer, ok enough of that althou i did c 2 of my mates from ma old skool, who i havent seen 4 ages so dat wuz awesome so that made my dai :D :D yer hehehe i am now settin in the study tell u how crap n pointless my dai wuz, another crap n pointless day again meh ill live ive lived this far so yer lol meh im over it anywayz ill post later wen samethin else happends talk later lv me :)

well my day wuz boring onces again altho p. 1 was fun but the rest of it was just boring ARRRRRRR skools so crap now i hate having 75 mins long classes i die afetr lyk half an hour of it they should just change it back 2 the way it was mmm wat else can i rant on about about my day mmmm lets c i got told off 4 listenin 2 my iPod in class stupit sub teacher ARRRRRR!!! meh i servied just i think any longer n i would of died of boredom meh lets c wat ahve i been doin senice skool ended mmm went home bummed around painted a pic its a very interesting one 2. played on the comp. mmm i think that is bout it reali didnt reali get talked 2 camin home 2dai mmmmm meh im used to it wait i didnt get talked 2 at all meh im over it it happeneds alot so yer im used to it now. anywayz i tihnk i should stop ranting on bout my dai n done same stuff cya lv me :)